Resolving Conflict over Raising Children
You will face innumerable challenges as you co-parent your child. Resolving conflict with your ex will become a part of parenting. You will disagree from time to time as you raise your child. Raising a child is no easy task. We like to throw around the saying “it takes a village to raise a child”, but in our society, there isn’t always a village to help you. This is a big responsibility.
Resolving conflict over raising your child can help ensure the responsibility is fairly divided between you two. When it comes to raising your child, fighting with your ex can make both your jobs harder. You can work together for the benefit of your child, but doing so will take some work. Here are a few ways you can resolve conflict that may arise while you co-parent your child:
Get on the same page from the beginning. Talk about how you want to raise your child before you embark on your journey as co-parents. Identify your priorities and your child’s needs. Develop a workable parenting plan that will provide structure to your child’s life and guidance for you. Reach a mutual understanding about what you can during the divorce so there is less to fight about later on. This will take a lot of communication but is a simple and effective way to reduce co-parenting conflict. An experienced Massachusetts mediator can help you and your spouse work out a feasible parenting plan that can help you resolve conflict down the road.
Focus on your child. Co-parenting is not about your relationship issues; it is about your child. Your child will benefit from having both parents contribute to his or her well-being. Use this as motivation to constructively work through conflict. If you both disagree over something, stop and ask yourselves what is best for your child. Oftentimes the right thing to do will become apparent.
Pick your battles. Sometimes co-parents raise conflict over insignificant issues because they have lingering feelings of resentment toward their ex. Know that this only harms your child. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Think about what matters in the long run and stick to your guns on those issues. Be willing to compromise for the sake of peace on others. Sometimes compromise is better for your child than letting conflict linger between you and your ex.
I hope these tips will give you some perspective on tackling co-parenting conflict. Co-parenting is a challenging yet very rewarding venture. Do what you can to resolve conflict so you can make the most of it, and enjoy it!
If you have questions about preparing to co-parent successfully, Mediation Advantage Services can help you.
Polly A. Tatum is experienced in divorce mediation and can help you and your spouse negotiate a parenting plan that will help you co-parent amicably. Based in historic Worcester with a satellite office in Northboro, MA, our firm serves all cities and towns throughout Massachusetts and Worcester County including, Auburn, Paxton, Leicester, Sutton, Grafton, Shrewsbury, Westboro, Northboro, Southboro, Holden, Sterling, Princeton, Worcester, Charlton, Millbury, Dudley, Spencer, Brookfield, Sudbury, Natick, Framingham, Hopkinton, Milford, Blackstone, Leominster, Fitchburg, Acton, Jefferson, Barre, Oakham, Cambridge, Newton, Marlboro, Lancaster, Bolton, and Hudson. Call our office at (508) 795-1557, fill out our online form, or email us at [email protected] today to schedule your Complimentary Mediation Success Planning Session. You can also sign up for our eNewsletter or download our free e-book for more information regarding divorce in Massachusetts.