How to Discuss Divorce with Your Spouse
Preparing to Discuss Divorce
Few conversation topics elicit such highly charged emotional reactions as divorce. It’s no wonder, then, that many people are hesitant to discuss divorce with their spouse. While there is no one right way to do so, know that how you broach this sensitive topic can shape how your divorce unfolds. Keeping this in mind, here are some guidance points to help you have a productive conversation with your spouse.
First, make sure you have enough privacy and time to allow your spouse to react naturally. Even if you suspect he or she is expecting it, plan for the worst. Next, make it clear that you are not looking for a fight.
Don’t defend yourself against your spouse’s reactions. You don’t need to justify your decision to divorce in one breath, but make sure you understand your feelings and how to tactfully phrase them
before you try to have this conversation. It is also important to remember that some of the details of the divorce should be discussed another day. Now is definitely not the time to try to get your spouse to agree on child support or how to share custody.
Divorce has stages, and the first stage is dealing with the idea of divorce itself. You can discuss parenting time and asset division once the dust has settled and you both are beginning to think about your future. Going into details before that point can result in hastily filed court cases, calls from aggressive attorneys, and a battle you would have rather avoided.
Patience Will Pay Off
Also bear in mind your children will be affected by the divorce. Being patient and cooperative from the beginning can set the tone for the entire divorce. Less conflict can mean your child copes better. Let this guide your first discussion and those to come. Also, consider divorce mediation if you are concerned about how the divorce will affect your children.
Suggesting non-adversarial mediation can reduce the risk your spouse puts up his or her defenses, and this can help the divorce go more smoothly for the entire family.
If you have questions about the divorce process, contact Mediation Advantage Services for expert family law help. Experienced in divorce mediation, Polly A. Tatum can provide you and your spouse with the information and guidance needed to negotiate the terms and conditions of your divorce. Based in historic Worcester with a satellite office in Northboro, MA, our firm serves all cities and towns throughout Massachusetts and Worcester County including, Auburn, Paxton, Leicester, Sutton, Grafton, Shrewsbury, Westboro, Northboro, Southboro, Holden, Sterling, Princeton, Worcester, Charlton, Millbury, Dudley, Spencer, Brookfield, Sudbury, Natick, Framingham, Hopkinton, Milford, Blackstone, Leominster, Fitchburg, Acton, Jefferson, Barre, Oakham, Cambridge, Newton, Marlboro, Lancaster, Bolton, and Hudson. Call our office at (508) 795-1557, fill out our online form, today to schedule your Complimentary Mediation Success Planning Session.
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