Forming a New Kind of Relationship with Your Ex
A New Partnership
Once you’ve decided to divorce, you may be like many people and check out of the marriage. But if you have kids, you can’t fully check out of your relationship with your spouse. If you are going to continue to raise your children together, you will need to form a new kind of relationship.
Instead of spouses, you are now co-parents. Maintaining a healthy co-parenting relationship with your spouse will make your jobs as parents much easier down the road. Regardless, many spouses neglect this very important relationship. Ongoing animosity or resentment between you two could affect how your child copes with the divorce and with having two families. For the benefit of your child and your own peace of mind, developing a healthy co-parenting relationship during the divorce should be a top priority.
The Parenting Relationship
The co-parent relationship is an important one. But being co-parents doesn’t mean you have to be friends, too. Nevertheless, you will still need to establish boundaries, make your objectives clear, and contribute as you would in any other relationship. A good place to start is crafting a solid parenting plan that will establish the guidelines you will both follow as you raise your child. Parenting plans can include basic guidelines for major areas of parenting or include provisions on many details such as pick up and drop off procedures.
Creating a parenting plan together is a good opportunity to voice your preferences and needs as a parent, learn about your spouse’s, and put them in writing. In the end, you will need to develop a new kind of relationship with your spouse if you are to raise a child together. This may be a relationship type you are unfamiliar with, and that’s OK. Consider working with a divorce mediator if you want to develop a healthy co-parenting relationship with your spouse. Divorce litigation in a courtroom is adversarial, and this can compromise your co-parenting relationship. If you want to develop and preserve your relationship, mediation is a great option. Working together to negotiate the terms of your divorce and develop a thorough parenting plan can help you develop the skills necessary to raise your child amicably and cooperatively.
If you have questions about how to divorce in peace, Mediation Advantage Services can help you. Polly A. Tatum is experienced in divorce mediation and can help you and your spouse divorce in an amicable and non-adversarial way. Based in historic Worcester with a satellite office in Northboro, MA, our firm serves all cities and towns throughout Massachusetts and Worcester County including, Auburn, Paxton, Leicester, Sutton, Grafton, Shrewsbury, Westboro, Northboro, Southboro, Holden, Sterling, Princeton, Worcester, Charlton, Millbury, Dudley, Spencer, Brookfield, Sudbury, Natick, Framingham, Hopkinton, Milford, Blackstone, Leominster, Fitchburg, Acton, Jefferson, Barre, Oakham, Cambridge, Newton, Marlboro, Lancaster, Bolton, and Hudson. Call our office at (508) 795-1557, fill out our online form, or email us at [email protected] today to schedule your Complimentary Mediation Success Planning Session. You can also sign up for our eNewsletter or download our free e-book for more information regarding divorce in Massachusetts.