For the Kids’ Sake: Why Staying Together for the Kids Can Hurt
Looking Out for Your Child’s Best Interests
Many couples choose to stay together until their children are out of the house for the kids’ sake. Some children need absolute stability to be happy. Some can weather change a little better. Your job as parents is to make sure what you do is in the best interests of your child, before, after, or even during divorce. But what is best for a child in this situation?
Your children may benefit from the stability of a two-parent household, but consider the environment of that household. Children learn how to function in relationships by observing their parents interacting. If you and your spouse do not interact in a loving and caring way anymore, you could be sending your child the wrong message about what marriage is about.
It’s true; divorce is hard for some children, especially if they see one parent significantly less after the split. This doesn’t have to the case with your family. Many children can thrive when their parents are guided by a sound parenting plan. The parenting plan is your plan for how you will raise your child and can include a timesharing schedule if you have shared custody. You can include this plan in your separation agreement. With a carefully crafted parenting plan and a timesharing schedule that helps make you and your spouse both a big part of your child’s life, they can adjust and adapt well to the divorce.
Divorced families can be dynamic and healthy. Some kids may even fair better in a shared custody arrangement than if they lived with both parents who no longer wanted to be married. Divorce can bring about positive change in both you and your spouse’s lives, and two happy households are better than one unhappy household.
If you are hesitant about divorce because you fear the divorce itself will be traumatic to your child, make sure you are aware of all your options. Shared custody is the norm today, and you and your spouse can work out an equal timesharing schedule if you can accommodate it. Often the major trauma to the child in divorce is the divorce proceeding in court. Children are remarkably adaptive and can learn to get used to having two families. They may not be able to get over the experience of a traumatic divorce between their parents,though. If you are going to divorce, make sure you choose a route that can help you maintain the peace and happiness of your family.
Divorce mediation is a good option if you want to remain amicable and divorce on good terms.
Do you have questions about how to divorce amicably? If so,
Mediation Advantage Services can help.
Polly A. Tatum has the skills and experience needed to help you and your spouse divorce through non-adversarial mediation. Based in historic Worcester with a satellite office in Northboro, MA, our firm serves all cities and towns throughout Massachusetts and Worcester County including, Auburn, Paxton, Leicester, Sutton, Grafton, Shrewsbury, Westboro, Northboro, Southboro, Holden, Sterling, Princeton, Worcester, Charlton, Millbury, Dudley, Spencer, Brookfield, Sudbury, Natick, Framingham, Hopkinton, Milford, Blackstone, Leominster, Fitchburg, Acton, Jefferson, Barre, Oakham, Cambridge, Newton, Marlboro, Lancaster, Bolton, and Hudson. Call our office at (508) 795-1557, fill out our online form, or email us at [email protected] today to schedule your Complimentary Mediation Success Planning Session. You can also sign up for our eNewsletter or download our free e-book for more information regarding divorce in Massachusetts.