How to Salvage Your Marriage After the Ashley Madison Hack

How to Salvage Your Marriage After the Ashley Madison Hack

Ashley Madison is a website that allows married individuals to interact with potential partners outside of their marriage. It is a scandalous site that attracted millions of users. Recently, the site was hacked and a list of all the users was leaked on the internet. However, there are lots of factors to be considered as a result of this information being available. Just because someone was on the site, does not mean that they have engaged in an extra-marital affair. This is a great article from the Huffington Post about what this article means and how to avoid divorce if that is what you choose to do.

As you have probably heard by now, the “have an affair today” married hookup site Ashley Madison has suffered a fatal blow. Not only did the “house of cards” come crashing down, but the “chips” fell too, as the personal information of over 32 million cheaters and cheating wannabes was dumped online when the website was hacked. Talk about being caught with your pants down!

And — yes — being the author of a bestselling book about infidelity my inbox blew up! My marriage and family therapist hat has been firmly on ever since. Here is a sample plea:

Dr. Sheri:

“What am I supposed to do? I’m scared to death. I was on the Ashley Madison website more than once. It was fun and I was feeling lonely at home. I talked to a number of women and we shared sexual fantasies and met via Skype, but we never physically met or had real sex. Is that really cheating? Do I have to confess? If so, when? Is it better to confess now, or only if I’m found out? Is there any hope that I can salvage my relationship? 

Of course, there’s hope! And it doesn’t need to lead to divorce or a break-up. But –YES — being on Ashley Madison is cheating; especially if it has involved secrecy, sharing intimacy with another and sexual titillation. And yes, it’s better to come clean and take loving, proactive steps NOW before the sh*t hits the fan.

Three Reasons to Confess Before Getting Busted:

1. Get ahead of the healing curve

Truth is always the greatest foundation to a strong relationship, and conversation. No matter the reason for cheating in the first place, confessing opens the door to healing and gets to the heart of the bigger problem. What is REALLY HAPPENING in your life and your relationship?

2. They already know

People are generally pretty observant, and sense things before they say things. BEFORE you get busted, being brave and coming clean may make the ensuing aftermath less ugly. By keeping it real — confessing and apologizing — you have taken the first steps towards repair, stopping the damage and perhaps avoiding divorce.

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Polly Tatum is a highly qualified and dedicated Worcester Family Law & Estate Planning Attorney who can help you in your time of need. Call now for a strategy session.


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