Before you sign up for divorce mediation, you should know what you shouldn’t expect from your mediator. Divorce mediation is a great alternative to working with divorce lawyers, but the mediator has a very specific role. Understanding what your mediator can and cannot do for you will give you the best chance at success. Here are four things you should never expect from a mediator.
Your mediator cannot give you legal advice. He or she will not be representing either of you in the divorce. Giving advice to one spouse would be a violation of his or her ethical duties. Rather, your mediator will give you the information and guidance you both need to handle your divorce on your own. See a divorce attorney for individual legal advice.
A Pity Party
Your mediator may or may not have counseling experience. Regardless of his or her professional background, your mediator is there to help you negotiate the terms of your divorce. Emotions, while relevant, should be put aside. If you want sympathy and comforting, see a counselor or therapist.
Mediation is not the place for arguing about who was right or wrong. No doubt you and your spouse both made some contributions to the fall of the marriage. The mediator is not there to confirm any score, so don’t expect the mediation to turn in your favor just because your spouse wronged you. Your mediator will be focused on the matters at hand, not what happened in your marriage.
This is one of the most common misconceptions of mediation. The mediator does not make the decisions for you. If you want someone else to make the decisions for you, hire an attorney and take your divorce to court. Mediation is for those who want to stay in control of the process and make the decisions on their own.
It is important to understand the role of the mediator so you can form realistic expectations. Your mediator will not be acting as your attorney, therapist, or concerned friend. He or she will be both your advocates and help you both reach an equitable agreement. A good mediator is experienced, informative, and fair to both spouses.
If you have questions about divorce mediation, contact Mediation Advantage Services for expert family law help. Experienced in divorce mediation, Polly A. Tatum can provide the information and guidance needed for a successful mediation. Based in historic Worcester with a satellite office in Northboro, MA, our firm serves all cities and towns throughout Massachusetts and Worcester County including, Auburn, Paxton, Leicester, Sutton, Grafton, Shrewsbury, Westboro, Northboro, Southboro, Holden, Sterling, Princeton, Worcester, Charlton, Millbury, Dudley, Spencer, Brookfield, Sudbury, Natick, Framingham, Hopkinton, Milford, Blackstone, Leominster, Fitchburg, Acton, Jefferson, Barre, Oakham, Cambridge, Newton, Marlboro, Lancaster, Bolton, and Hudson. Call our office at (508) 645-6374, fill out our online form, or email us at firstname.lastname@example.org today to schedule your Complimentary Mediation Success Planning Session. You can also sign up for our eNewsletter or download our free e-book for more information regarding divorce in Massachusetts.